One Last Breath
by Jessica C. Malfoy
Summary: James' view, with the last seconds of his life, and all that went through his head.
1. Default Chapter

Title: One Last Breath  
  
Author: Jessica C. Malfoy  
  
Email: JessicaCMalfoy@aol.com  
  
Genre: General, Angst (Probably)  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Main Character: James Potter  
  
Spoilers: All  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything associated with it. I also do not own "One Last Breath" for that belongs to "Creed" and I own neither.  
  
A/N: Well, here it is! A James Potter fic! :: gasp ::  
  
  
  
One Last Breath  
  
  
  
James Potter looked up at the knocking of the door, "It must be one of the gang," he said as he got up, but felt a cold rush of air hit him when he stood up from his chair, that he had been sitting in, reading the evening paper.  
  
The person at the door knocked again, "Get the door, James!" Lily cried from Harry's room, which was down the hall.  
  
He looked out the window, and saw no one, and uneasy feeling settled in his stomach, maybe as a warning or something big or just from hanging out with Sirius too much as a teenager. He listened, to hear a, "Open up, already you big git!" from outside, but only heard a cold north wind howl outside.  
  
"Something," his brain uttered to himself, "is not right. This isn't Sirius, is it?"  
  
Whatever stood at the door knocked some more times, as if getting impatient, and James tried to ignore it, but Lily came in the room, without Harry, and looked at James.  
  
"Aren't you going to answer the door?"  
  
"I think it's a bad idea to open it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I just have a feeling, Lil. Just don't open that door."  
  
"James, we're safe here. Remember, Wormtail is our friend, and it's probably him, as well as Padfoot and Moony, and I do not want to deal with 3 frozen Marauders."  
  
James slowly nodded in agreement, and walked over to the door, that familiar cold rush covering him, devouring him, drowning him. He touched the door handle and the lock, and just about froze, time stood still.  
  
"James", Lily's voice sounded, but seemed like an echo, although she was, in fact, in the same room that he was.  
  
He took in a deep, and sounded rather forced, breath and looked at Lily, "Get back, get back now."  
  
Lily gave him a strange look, but did as she was told. She'd never seen James like this, never, not in all of their years together at Hogwarts, and that was 7 years!  
  
James watched her through his oval, black rimmed glasses, and turned back to the door. Silently, he un-locked it and began to turn, when brief, flickers even, flashbacks came to his mind, and he saw them, as well as the door.  
  
Now five seconds he had done that, he looked through a small hole, and saw him. "Lily! It's him! Run! Run!"  
  
Lily paled and ran. She ran to Harry's room just when she heard the door open and a dark chuckle.  
  
James backed up into the living room and got out his wand, though, he knew that it was useless. He'd been discussing on how the Dark Lord had been able to surprise his victims, and they not even have a chance, and it looked now as if he would get to experience that, first hand.  
  
"Please come now I think I'm falling  
  
I'm holding on to all I think is safe  
  
It seems I found the road to nowhere  
  
And I'm trying to escape  
  
I yelled back when I heard thunder  
  
But I'm down to one last breath  
  
And with it let me say  
  
Let me say"  
  
  
  
Voldemort swept past the threshold and into the Potters' living room, with just James Potter in there, pale, shaking, sweating, with his wand out; how typical. Voldemort didn't have any Death Eaters with him, on this very night. No, he had everything planned out, thanks to little Wormtail. Who'd known that such a tiny little rat would prove to be so useful in his plans?  
  
"You," James said, trying to fight against the feeling of dread, of defeat, and of guilt. He took some more steps back, trying to lead him into the kitchen, away from Lily and Harry. Harry. Oh poor Harry, if they, no, since, they will survive, he told himself, he'd look up to Sirius, and…  
  
Voldemort gazed on James, his red eyes focused, his wand held loosely in his right hand, black robes billowing out around him as if a wind was blowing from all directions at once, or from his power. He smirked, or what would be the closest thing to a smirk, since he didn't have a human face now.  
  
Voldemort lifted up his lazily lifted up his wand and pointed it towards James' heart, raised both eyebrows, and hissed, almost in a whisper, and time stood still, "Av---"  
  
Time paused, and James could see a faint green light beginning to form, opposite of his heart. Memories, flashbacks, took him to places that he hadn't been, or experienced, in years. He started to blink, but realized that Voldemort would take that as a sign of weakness and just stared back at him.  
  
"Moony, did you get that homework done yet?"  
  
"You're not copying my Potions homework, Padfoot."  
  
"No, your DADA, I'll just get my Potions from Snape."  
  
"Really, Sirius. You aren't going to learn a thing and you're going to be stuck in 7th year till you die if you don't do your own homework," a bossy Head Girl told off Padfoot.  
  
"Is that an offer that you'll do mine?"  
  
"I thought that was part of the 'Girlfriend Package'," James joked, getting a glare from Lily instead of a laugh or a smile.  
  
  
  
James stared at Voldemort, if he cast a spell, it wouldn't hit him, before that spell hit him, and if he dived, it could go astray and hit Lily or Harry instead. Beads of sweat rolled down his brow, as he waited for the green light to hit him, Lily and Harry would get away, and go to Dumbledore, where they would be safe.  
  
"Hold me now  
  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
  
That maybe six feet  
  
Ain't so far down"  
  
  
  
James waited, but it felt like an eternity, if it was a person who didn't want to use the curse, he could understand why it was taking so long, but this, this wasn't a person who didn't want to kill. This was a person who did want to kill. A person that took pleasure in killing. A person who didn't even have a soul, or had lost it a long time ago.  
  
Voldemort seemed perfectly intent on doing on what he was doing though, maybe this was how he killed all of them, or all of his victims felt right before he killed them, but you would never know the answer, till you too, fell victim to him and found another soul that had been ripped from it's host, before it's time.  
  
"—ada"  
  
James felt more and more memories overcome him, ones that weren't the best kinds, or ones that you talked about, with smiles and happiness, with your best friends, or with the people it happened with.  
  
"James, Mr. Potter, do sit down and make yourself feel comfortable," a slightly younger Dumbledore said and gestured for a 15 year old James Potter to sit down in his office, which he did.  
  
"Mr. Potter, why do you and your friends, obviously, torment Mr. Snape?"  
  
James sat there, searching for an answer, any answer that would sound at least somewhat believable. Something that made sense. He'd never given a thought to why they always tormented Snape, but he highly doubted that Snape had a valid reason for striking back at them as well.  
  
"It goes way back, Headmaster."  
  
"I have time, Mr. Potter."  
  
  
  
'Snape', James thought to himself, here, seconds before he would no longer exist in the physical world, only in the world of memories, and in the next world, torn from his host, but he knew that it wasn't his time to die. He was too young! He was supposed to be like Dumbledore, and live for a century or more, but here he was not, seconds before his death, and thinking about Snape. 'Snape, I wonder what will ever happen to him. Maybe we should've been nicer to him, or pulled a little bit less pranks on him,' he thought to himself.  
  
"I'm looking down now that it's over  
  
Reflecting on all of my mistakes  
  
I thought I found the road to somewhere  
  
Somewhere in His grace  
  
I cried out heaven save me  
  
But I'm down to one last breath  
  
And with it let me say  
  
Let me say"  
  
James braced himself, one more word left, and he wouldn't know anything about this world anymore, that is, if he survived, but he highly doubted that Voldemort would change his mind about killing him.  
  
"Ked----"  
  
Now, not even an entire word was left. If he could just hold Harry one more time, kiss Lily one more time, it'd be worth to go through this ten more times, but alas he could not, not without getting them killed as well. He'd sacrifice himself any day for those two, willingly, like right now.  
  
His brained nagged at him though, he didn't want to die. He wanted to live. To see another sunrise, to smell another breakfast cooking, or even fall victim to Sirius' prank or get a nasty potion from Snape. He didn't want to die, but, it didn't seem as if he had much choice right now. It was too late.  
  
He fought against his brain, insisting that Lily could defeat Voldemort, just given time and help from the other 'Defenders of the Light'. She would do it, and he would be proud of her. She would tell Harry bedtime stories about all of the pranks that he helped pull, and fell victim too. The Quidditch matches that he took part with, the times where the Quidditch cup was on the line, and everything had to fall a certain way, or another house would take it.  
  
'They will survive,' he told himself fiercely, 'they're already long gone to Hogwarts, Lily won't let Harry die, she won't.' With that thought, tears sprang forth to his eyes, the thought of not only leaving behind his love, his soul mate, but a piece of him, as well, his child, his first born. Harry. 'No, Lily need's him, to be reminded of us when I'm gone.'  
  
"Hold me now  
  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
  
That maybe six feet  
  
Ain't so far down"  
  
"—avr----"  
  
James' throat tightened, and salty, silent, tears mixed with sweat, and became one, as they silently fell down his face, and onto the floor, of his home. The home of his ancestors, the place where Godric Gryffindor claimed his land, and made sure that nobody dare try to take it away from him. On his family ground, he was going to die, just like Godric.  
  
"Now, back in 1002, A.D.," Professor Binns droned on to the class of Gryffindor 6th years, "Godric Gryffindor had already claimed the land, now known as 'Godric's Hollow', and regularly patrolled it, to make sure that some one like Slytherin wasn't using it, or claiming it as their own.  
  
"It was during one of those patrols that a battle was started, between himself and Slytherin. Slytherin, however, had planned this, and quickly had Gryffindor surrounded by his men, and some say that he also had the aide of either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw as well.  
  
"It didn't take long, before Slytherin had defeated Gryffindor, and Gryffindor was slain, on his land, that Slytherin claimed, but then later on in 1469, the heir of Gryffindor had a bright mind, for his line included both Gryffindors and Ravenclaws, tricked Slytherin's heir into getting drunk and signing that Gryffindor once again, held Godric's Hollow."  
  
  
  
"Sad eyes follow me  
  
But I still believe there's something left for me  
  
So please come and stay with me  
  
'Cause I still believe there is something left for you and me  
  
For you and me  
  
For you and me"  
  
James looked out from the corner of his eye, and saw a picture of Lily, Harry, and himself. He was in front of Lily, whom you could barely make out, and he supposed that she was using his back to hide Harry from Voldemort. If only it was that simple.  
  
He knew that one more second, one my part to say, and he'd be gone, and he just prayed that Lily and Harry was safe, no matter whatever it might cost him.  
  
"---a"  
  
James' eyes widen as he saw the green light finally reach its maximum size and slowly escape from that wand, that evil wand, and head towards him. He thought he his heart would either stop, or burst before the light hit him, that or all at once.  
  
"Hold me now  
  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking"  
  
James watched the light get closer and closer, but was unable to move a single inch. Then, it hit him, and he knew nothing more. His body wobbled there for a second, before falling backwards, on his back, eyes wide staring at the ceiling, and the swear and tears still mixed together on his cheek. 


	2. *Revised 'One Last Breath'...*

Title: One Last Breath (1/1)

Author: a href=" http://www.fictionalley.org/fictionalleypark/forums/member.php?s=&action=getinfo&userid=2088" Jessica C. Malfoy/a

E-mail: JessicaCMalfoy@aol.com

Category: Dark Arts

Genre: Angst

Keywords: James, Lily, Harry, Halloween, 1981, Voldemort

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: All

Summary: In the last moments of his life, James has some serious thoughts about all of what he has done.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song "One Last Breath", is owned by "Creed" and other cooperation's. 

 Note: Once again, 'thanks' to my Beta, METMA Mandy, though she may have grown up out of the fanfiction writing corner, you're not escaping my fics!

IOne Last Breath…/I

James Potter looked up at the knocking of the door, "It must be one of the gang," he said as he got up. Oddly, he felt a cold rush of air hit him when he stood up from his chair at the table, where he'd been reading the evening paper.

                The person at the door knocked again, "Get the door, James!" Lily cried from Harry's room, which was down the hall.

                He looked out the window, and saw no one, and uneasy feeling settled in his stomach, maybe as a warning or something big or just from hanging out with Sirius too much as a teenager. He listened, to hear a, "Open up, already you big git!" from outside, but only heard a cold north wind howl outside.

                "Something," his brain uttered to himself, "is not right. This isn't Sirius, is it?"

                Whatever stood at the door knocked some more times, as if getting impatient, and James tried to ignore it, but Lily came in the room and looked at James.

                "Aren't you going to answer the door?"

                "I think it's a bad idea to open it."

                "Why?"

                "I just have a feeling, Lil. Just don't open that door."

                "James, we're safe here. Remember, Wormtail is our friend, and it's probably him, as well as Padfoot and Moony, and I do not want to deal with 3 frozen Marauders."

                James slowly nodded in agreement, and walked over to the door, that familiar cold rush covering him, devouring him, drowning him. He touched the door handle and the lock, and just about froze, time standing still..

                "James", Lily's voice sounded, but seemed like an echo, although she was, in fact, in the same room that he was. 

                He took in a deep, and sounded rather forced, breath and looked at Lily, "Get back, get back now."

                Lily gave him a strange look, but did as she was told. She'd never seen James like this, never, not in all the  years she'd known him.

                James watched her through his oval, black rimmed glasses, and turned back to the door. Silently, he un-locked it and began to turn, when brief flickers of flashbacks came to him. , In his mind's eye, he saw them, and with his real eyes, he stared at  the strangely foreboding door.

                Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he opened the door a crack, and saw him.  He took a shuddering breath and managed to choke out, "Lily! It's him! Run! Run!"

                Lily paled and ran. She sprinted  to Harry's room,  hearing  the door open and a sinister chuckle.

                James backed up into the living room and got out his wand, though he knew that it was useless. He'd been discussing just the other day  how the Dark Lord had been able to surprise his victims, leaving them without a chance. It looked now as if he would get to experience that first hand.

IPlease come now I think I'm falling

I'm holding on to all I think is safe

It seems I found the road to nowhere

And I'm trying to escape

I yelled back when I heard thunder

But I'm down to one last breath

And with it let me say

Let me say/I

                Voldemort swept past the threshold and into the Potters' living room, empty of everything but   a pale, shaking, sweating James Potter. He stood with his wand out; how typical of him. Voldemort didn't have any Death Eaters with him, on this very night. No, he had everything planned out, thanks to little Wormtail. Who'd known that such a tiny little rat would prove to be so useful in his plans?

                "You," James said, trying to fight against the feeling of dread, of defeat, and of guilt. He took some more steps back, trying to lead him into the kitchen, away from Lily and Harry. Harry. Oh poor Harry -- what if they -- no, they will survive, he told himself, he'd look up to Sirius, and…

                Voldemort gazed on James, his red eyes focused, his wand held loosely in his right hand, black robes billowing out around him as if a wind was blowing from all directions at once. He smirked, his hideous face contorting into the mockery of a smile. 

                Voldemort lifted up his lazily lifted up his wand and pointed it towards James' heart, raised both eyebrows, and hissed, almost in a whisper, and time stood still, "Av---"

                Time paused, and James could see a faint green light beginning to form, opposite of his heart. Memories, flashbacks, took him to places that he hadn't been in years. He started to blink, but realized that Voldemort would take that as a sign of weakness and just stared back at him.

                "Moony, did you get that homework done yet?"

                "You're not copying my Potions homework, Padfoot."

                "No, your DADA, I'll just get my Potions from Snape."

                "Now really, Sirius. You aren't going to learn a thing and you're going to be stuck in 7th year till you die if you don't do your own homework," the bossy Head Girl told off Padfoot.

                "Is that an offer that you'll do mine?"

                "I thought that was part of the 'Girlfriend Package'," James joked, getting a glare from Lily instead of a laugh or a smile.

                James stared at Voldemort. If he tried cast a spell, it wouldn't hit his adversary before that last curse hit him. If he dived, it could go astray and hit Lily or Harry instead. Beads of sweat rolled down his brow, as he waited for the green light to hit him. Lily and Harry would get away, and go to Dumbledore, where they would be safe.

IHold me now  
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

That maybe six feet

Ain't so far down/I

                James waited for the green light to hit him., It felt like an eternity; if it was sent a person who didn't want to use the curse, he could understand why it was taking so long, but this wasn't a person who didn't want to kill. This was a person who did want to kill. A person that took pleasure in killing. A person who didn't even have a soul, or had lost it a long time ago.

                Voldemort seemed perfectly intent on doing on what he was doing, though. Maybe this was how he killed all of them, or how all of his victims felt right before he killed them.  But you would never know the answer till you too fell victim to him and found another soul that had been ripped from its host, before its time.

                "—ada"

                James felt more and more memories overcome him.   They were ones that weren't the best kinds, or ones that you smiled about, with your best friends, but a different kind.

                "James, Mr. Potter, do sit down and make yourself feel comfortable," a slightly younger Dumbledore said and gestured for a 15 year old James Potter to sit down in his office, which he did.

                "Mr. Potter, why do you and your friends, obviously torment Mr. Snape?"

                James sat there, searching for an answer, any answer that would sound at least somewhat believable. Something that made sense. He'd never given a thought to why they always tormented Snape, but he highly doubted that Snape had a valid reason for striking back at them as well.

                "It goes way back, Headmaster."

                "I have time, Mr. Potter."

                'Snape', James thought to himself, seconds before he would no longer exist in the physical world, but only in the world of memories. He was too young! He was supposed to be like Dumbledore, and live for a century or more, but it wasn't to be; here he was,, seconds before his death, and thinking about Snape. 'Snape, I wonder what will ever happen to him. Maybe we should've been nicer to him, or pulled  less pranks on him,' he thought to himself.

II'm looking down now that it's over

Reflecting on all of my mistakes

I thought I found the road to somewhere

Somewhere in His grace

I cried out heaven save me

But I'm down to one last breath

And with it let me say

Let me say/I

                James braced himself, one more word left, and he wouldn't know anything about this world anymore, that is, if he survived, but he highly doubted that Voldemort would change his mind about killing him. 

                "Ked----"

                Now, not even an entire word was left. If he could just hold Harry one more time, kiss Lily one more time, it'd be worth to go through this again and again., Alas, he could not, not without getting them killed as well. He'd sacrifice himself any day for those two, willingly, like right now.

                His brained nagged at him, repeating the same thought over and over: he didn't want to die. He wanted to live. To see another sunrise, to smell another breakfast cooking, or even fall victim to Sirius' prank or get a nasty potion from Snape. He didn't want to die, but, it didn't seem as if he had much choice right now. It was too late.

                He fought against his brain, insisting that Lily could defeat Voldemort, just given time and help from the other 'Defenders of the Light'. She would do it, and he would be proud of her. She would tell Harry bedtime stories about all of the pranks that he helped pull, and fell victim to. She'd tell him of the Quidditch matches that he took part in; the times where the Quidditch cup was on the line, and everything had to fall a certain way, or another house would take it.

                'They will survive,' he told himself fiercely, 'they're already long gone to Hogwarts, Lily won't let Harry die, she won't.' With that thought, tears sprang forth to his eyes. The thought of not only leaving behind his love, his soul mate, but a piece of him as well, his child, his first born, was too much to bear. Harry. 'No, Lily needs him, to be reminded of us when I'm gone.'

IHold me now

I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

That maybe six feet

Ain't so far down/I

                "—avr----"

                James' throat tightened, and salty, silent tears mixed with sweat and became one, as they silently fell down his face and onto the floor of his home. The home of his ancestors, the place where Godric Gryffindor claimed his land, and made sure that nobody dared to try to take it away from him. On his family ground, he was going to die, just like Godric. 

                "Now, back in 1002, A.D.," Professor Binns droned on to the class of Gryffindor 6th years, "Godric Gryffindor had already claimed the land, now known as 'Godric's Hollow', and regularly patrolled it, to make sure that some one like Slytherin wasn't using it, or claiming it as their own.

                "It was during one of those patrols that a battle was started, between himself and Slytherin. Slytherin, however, had planned this, and quickly had Gryffindor surrounded by his men, and some say that he also had the aide of either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw as well.

                "It didn't take long before Slytherin had defeated Gryffindor, and Gryffindor was slain, on his own land. Slytherin claimed it, but then later on in 1469, the heir of Gryffindor had a bright mind, for his line included both Gryffindors and Ravenclaws, and he tricked Slytherin's heir into getting drunk and signing that Gryffindor once again held Godric's Hollow."

ISad eyes follow me

But I still believe there's something left for me

So please come and stay with me

'Cause I still believe there is something left for you and me

For you and me

For you and me/I

                James looked out from the corner of his eye, and saw a picture of Lily, Harry, and himself. He was in front of Lily, whom you could barely make out, and he supposed that she was using his back to hide Harry from Voldemort. If only it was that simple.

                He knew that one more second, one more syllable to say, and he'd be gone, and he just prayed that Lily and Harry was safe, no matter what it might cost him.

                "---a"

                James' eyes widened as he saw the green light finally reach its maximum size and slowly escape from that wand, that evil wand, and head towards him. He thought he his heart would either stop, or burst before the light hit him.

IHold me now

I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking/I

                James watched the light get closer and closer, but was unable to move a single inch. Then, it hit him, and he knew nothing more. His body wobbled there for a second, before falling backwards, on his back, eyes wide staring at the ceiling, and the sweat and tears still mixed together on his cheek. 


End file.
